It has been almost 5 (this was written in 2018 so now it’s 9) years since I started doing this.
I try to make eye contact with most of the people who walk opposite to where I am walking. I am going on the left-hand side and someone might be on the right side going in the opposite direction, I will always try to make eye contact.
This sounds like a weird thing to do. I agree this is a “little bit” weird. But I have a theory.
“The world needs more people who laugh” is my theory. Five years ago once as I was walking, I don’t remember where I was walking and where I was going but I still remember the thought that came to me and has bugged me since.
That day was the first time I realized that when people walked nobody looked at each other. I understand when you are with your friends we are basically making a conversation so it demands our attention. But what hit me hard was even when we are alone we didn’t make any eye contact.
Since that day it’s been more than 1,825 (3,285)days and it still has not changed.
Why was it the case? What was the cause?
Obviously, I asked myself first.
“It was because I didn’t know them, what would I do if our eyes met?”
A legit question. But I had been hooked by this curiosity so much that by default I started to look people in the face to see if somebody made eye contact.
Well, basically there are 3 kinds of people that walk past you. I hope everyone was the third type.
Type-1: You’ll see these kinds of people coming from far away and you are curious if they are the ones who make eye contact. Somehow you also know that, that person is also looking at you. But because you two are too far you are not certain your eyes can’t meet due to the distance. But as you come near and at the first instance your eyes meet, that person will stop looking at you and just turn their attention elsewhere. These are the first kind of people “Romeo and Juliet” I like to call them. They want to make a connection with you but destiny doesn’t allow you two to be together. And at last, you just separate. These kinds of people, unlike, the namesake aren’t remembered at all.
Type-2: The second types are the “Mogambos”. They will stare at you like “Romeo and Juliet” do at the beginning. But as your eyes meet and you come closer. These kinds of people feel threatened by your stare and want to eat you alive and continue staring at you as if they could murder you with their gaze. You also take it to your ego and give some “Mogambos” of yourself back to them. But eventually, they will dominate you and you just give up and look away as if nothing happened. You will have no expression on your face. But inside you feel a little smaller than before. Inside your ego is boiling with rage and is thinking the next time you see that person you’re gonna stare the fuck out of them.
Type-3: My favorite kind of people. I call them “Paradise”. They will start like “Romeo and Juliet” and continue to stare like “Mogambos” but there is a small difference in their gaze. You cannot certain what it is. Something in the light of their eyes is welcoming. But one thing you can be certain of is that they will always have a smile on their lips. Maybe it’s the vibration of the smile that you are catching in their eyes. The intensity of the gaze they give may be similar to “Mogambos” but the intention is different and that makes all the difference.
Now you might be wondering why the heck you had to read almost 650 words to know this difference which you might have noticed is just something I made up for myself. Not something scientific or even excerpted from some ancient text.
What I was trying to come to is just prove my hypothesis that the world needs more people who laugh.
You might have seen a YouTube and Instagram Motivational speaker say “If you smile at the world it will smile back”.
That sounds quite beautiful but if you have done what I do, you might not say those same words with that much confidence. There are “Mogambos” who will hurt you even if you smile and almost everyone is “Romeo and Juliet” so your smile won’t be of any use and you will feel rejected.
But yes there are a few who will smile just because you were smiling in the first place. But here’s what I’d like you to believe.
Those “Paradise” know that you are expecting a smile and they will give it to you. I know you might be skeptical. But if you don’t take your “Romeo and Juliet” and “Mogambos” to walk with you, and look for the “Paradise” you will find them and you’ll have the greatest gift any human being can give to others, “Connection”.
What has mobile phones in our had done is not make us lost in the virtual world but basically lose connection with each other. Why do people make groups on Facebook? It’s for connection. Why do you think people will want to comment on Shrinkhala’s video and why do some even want to reply to those comments? I also notice those comments are mostly, but not always, negative or controversial? Because the comment is just one-way communication, we want a two-way connection. For that we need a reply, so we give the lowest and the most controversial of the comments just for an ounce of connection however low quality it might be. Have you seen those YouTube comments in which everyone else comments? Yep, I knew you knew it. You are also looking for connections in those comments and replies.
We are fed up with all this “Romeo and Juliet” kind of connection. We think being a “Mogambo” might make us stand out, hence, such negative and opinionated comments, and then maybe people will connect.
But connections are made in heaven so, the only connection that will fulfill you is in “Paradise”.
How can you be in and with “Paradise” then?
It’s easy starting today when you walk try to look for them in the faces walking opposite you. The moment you find them you’ll know because they will give YOU a “Smile”.
Or You can make your own “paradise” by looking into the eyes of people who are talking to you.
If there’s a god inside of You, I am damn sure they are trying to talk to me through your eyes, and if they see the God inside me, it’s just natural “We” laugh.
Your Awesomeness Coach