The 5 Things I wish I had said to My Graduating Students
Posted On April 10, 2019
Last week my students graduated after 4 years of Bachelors studies. I must say it was difficult for them. Mostly because of the course requirements but the hardest to endure was the unnecessary things arising due to politics in the University or The country.
As I saw their graduation pictures I had a small guilt inside me that has been nagging me since then. This blog post is my try, to address the guilt and also in doing so be clear on what I should have done when they were in college.
This might be targeted to my students but I will try to make it useful to all the recent graduates.
The guilt I have been feeling is; did I say everything that I had to say as a teacher? Did I tell what actually works out there in the market?
First, I want to documents the things I think I addressed just because those are somethings I absolutely believe in:
You are not your profession: You might pass out as a Bsc.MLT (or Engineer or Nurse or Doctor) but more than that you are a human and do not let your “education” to stop you form being a good human being.
In life, you will only earn PEOPLE: Some of you may earn more some may not but the only thing that you should strive to earn is People, by being a good person. Nepali ma bhannu parda “मान्छे कमाउने हो and those मान्छे will help you to be a success”. Do not ever treat someone less than……………………………they might know something you don’t.
I know I’ve said those things in many different scenarios and versions but my guilt resulted because as I saw their pictures, I realized I had so many things still to say. I should have, somehow given them these head-start to start their journey as a professional. That way I could have save them precious peace of mind, which I had very scare of when I first started. So here goes the 5 things I wish I had shared with my graduating students or to any recent graduates.
College was more than GRADES: Most of the students measure their 4 years in their SGPA. I think I have said a version of this in one of my classes but I wish I had said them as they completed their studies or even on the last day of their college. College was not only the course but it was also the friends you met, the enemies you made, the teachers you admired, the teachers you didn’t. It was even seeing the same Guard-dai everyday and have a connection with him as well. College was also about learning to public speak during presentations, it was about respecting your seniors or loving your juniors. It was a pool of people from all around Nepal and it was your chance to understand a person and their culture which you might not have had the chance if it were not for this college. So my friends (students) take a moment and try to absorb everything that life taught you about human relationships here. How life at college taught you to fight for your rights, how it made you debate and come to a better solution. This is the biggest block of time you spend with your friends after school so cherish this friendship.
You are not your GRADES: Most of you might think that your grades is what us, teachers, will remember but that is not absolutely true. Yes there are very few of you who might be remembered just for grades but most importantly you will be remembered for the person you were. Your behavior and attitudes is what will be “YOU” after you’ve left the college. I personally will remember you for how good a human you were. Please make me proud.
There a difference between knowledge and wisdom: I have shared this insight in different version but not exactly like this. You will now be an expert in your field, you will know so much more than a average person and that can get in your head. You might start thinking that you are superior and that ultimately will be the start of a very difficult journey for you. When you see others as lower you will not have people in your side and when and if you require them, you will realize only people can help you. So be good to everyone. You might sometimes have to listen to your grandfather when he says how diabetes is transmitted, don’t jump in and say it’s a non-communicable disease. Let him have that spot-light and let him share his story. You might be knowledgeable but you must have the wisdom to know when and where that knowledge should be applied. In your work place you must use this knowledge. But it should be for the overall good not just to make yourself superior. Always ask “Is this the wise thing to do?”
You are not your DEGREE: This is something I know I have said but just wanted to reinforce. This is the hardest lesson life taught me so I think it deserve a spot in these 5 things. You might have graduated to be a certain professional don’t let that stop you from going for what you believe is your core genius. You don’t have to work in a lab after passing BSC.MLT (or what ever your profession is). You can be a writer or a musician if that’s what you believe is your calling. I realized after completing my Masters that it was not the thing I would want to do forever. Now I constantly am searching for and doing things I want to to find what is my core genius. This blog and my podcast being the two I am focusing on right now. It took me 28 years to just realize it and I don’t know how many more it will require for me to find it. But what is life if I don’t look forward to know the answer of the question, I want you to ask yourself from today “Why was I put in this world?”. I wish I could say I’ve found the answer, I have a partial answer but I still want the complete one. I wish I could say it is easy, all I know and can say is; it is the only worthwhile thing you can do for yourself. Otherwise, life might end up being the struggle you’ve always feared of.
Learn about Emotions and Money and Mindsets: I could have made 3 different topic but I wanted this post to give a gist and in future I will share on these topic too. Here I will only share why it is important you learn these things.
Emotions: You might have read so many times and it’s the truth “Emotions makes us human”. Why do we loose our cool? Why do we get hurt when relationships ends? Why are we afraid of facing a difficult task? Why do we get frustrated? Why do we actually get jealous? Why are we un-knowingly competing with our best friend? Why can’t we be happy for others? Why do we want to dominate? These all question requires you to understand emotions. These and there are more deeper topic of pre-marital sex and the relationship issues that might be eating you inside. There may be situations of sexual harassment that you are not being able to share. We humans are a very complex organism and the most complex of those are our emotions. If you want to be someone with a “GOOD LIFE” you have to start learning about emotion. (If you want to learn more contact me and we can arrange a training on understanding emotions)
Money: Well the “evil” word. How many of you disputes in friendship has rooted in money? How many times you’ve felt inferior due to lack of money? You’ve worked hard to earn the degree and now you realize the market does not pay you as much. Why are rich getting rich? Why do you have to earn your own money and prove it to your parents? I have never discussed these issue in my classes but I wish I had. Money is the thing that will buy you food and water so it is one of the most important thing to learn about. Only will money let you get things you’ve always wanted. It is a big part so you better start you financial education early, don’t be 30 years old like me and then realize money is important too. I want you to think of the following quote before countering my opinion on this issue, which by the way is also an “Emotional” issue to most of us. You’ve heard “money is the root of all evil” but I want to say an even better quote from Rich dad Poor dad book “Lack of money is the root of all evil”.When you don’t have money then will all the negative things start. Think upon this quote.
Mindset: How many of you have heard hard-work make you successful? How many have seen “talent” being successful? How many of you know someone who are not both of those yet are in a place you’d like to be? See hard-work, talent and luck has its role but the most important of them all is mindset. What beliefs you have and what you think about the world……is what make your world. If you believe all the people break your trust, well, guess what throughout your life you’ll find only un-trustworthy people. If you think all boys/girls are the same, be prepared even your soul mate will one day be that person. Not going into details I just want to urge you to read how our mind and the thoughts in the mind affects our world. Go to YouTube and search “The Secret” it is a documentary that sowed the seed in me to know more about the “Principles” or “Laws” of the Universe. I hope it does the same to you. (If you want to learn more I also provide training on developing “The Mindset”).
These are the 5 thing I wish I had said to my graduating students. If you are one of my students or not I still want to say “Thank You” for reading it. If this blog touched you please forward it to 10 of your graduating friends. This post might be a light to someone who might be struggling with the darkness after graduation.
Finally, I am sharing with a sincere hope my struggle, my mistakes and my short comings and moreover my learning will help you save your precious time. I wish you don’t have to go through everything I went through to know “The Matrix”.
This is my way of giving back to you,my beloved students,for letting me be your teacher and letting me live my dream. Form the core of heart I want to say to each and everyone of you “Thank you”.